Baptists Baptists
Baptists, Baptists, everywhere
In the cellar, on the stairs
On my elbows, up my nose
In the dryer, on my clothes
Methodists in my back yard
Rubbing each other with lard
Eating grubs and drinking ale
Fifty-three percent of them are male
Catholics in the back shed
Tumbling, tumbling, though they're dead
Even the least misdirected
Probabably won't be resurrected
Islamists up in the roof
Say that they do not need proof
Allah is their benefactor
He has an enormous tractor
Orthodox Jews in the hall
Weep and wail at every wall
When I said 'it's only plaster'
They just wailed louder and faster
Atheists in the back room
Said 'Why not just accept your doom'?
Then they added 'there's no God'
I said 'that seems plausible, but odd'
Buddhists, Buddhists in the kitchen
Quoted Alex Solzhenitsyn
Then went on about Nirvana
While I made chile con carne
(c) 2006, Tim Gadd
