“My desire for knowledge is intermittent; but my desire to commune with the spirit of the universe, to be intoxicated with the fumes, call it, of the divine nectar, to bear my head through atmospheres and over heights unknown to my feet, is perennial and constant.”Thoreau, Henry David.. Thoreau on Man and Nature. Compilation by Arthur G. Volkman from the Writings of Henry D. Thoreau (New York: Peter Pauper Press, 1960), p. 56.
My Story
I like to take things at a very simple level. I am not a joiner of clubs, societies, organizations, or political parties, being somewhat nervous of the dynamics possible within large social groupings. Yet I have found myself over the course of the past 10 or so years drawing closer and closer to the community of yogis and yoginis from all over the world, experiencing much joy in the sweetness found within Sahaja Yoga community events; I have found my life profoundly touched and transformed by Sahaja Yoga meditation and by Shri Mataji. It has all happened quite gradually:
Some 10 years ago, a friend of mine saw a poster advertising a public program which Shri Mataji was conducting in our city. My friend asked me to go with her and, out of curiosity, I went. During the program, I enjoyed the question and answer period which Shri Mataji held with members of the audience. I admired the clarity of her answers and her geniality. Later, when I returned home, my younger son asked me how I liked the program and I answered quite truthfully that I really liked Shri Mataji. “She was like a mother,” I said. And that was the end of that. A thoroughly pleasant experience it was but I did not go to follow-up programs offered by local yogis.
A year later, Shri Mataji presented another public program in our city and my son wanted to attend, so we both went together. This program affected my younger son profoundly. He just jumped into Sahaja Yoga, something my quite cautious nature would not allow me to do! But I started to attend the local public meetings and meditations intermittently, mostly to make sure that my son wasn’t getting into a cult-like group! And as I attended more and more of these group meditations, the most striking effect I felt was a gradual lessening of tension within me, a series of small, fleeting moments of peace within me which, through time, became a more constant, sustained state of being. And when I looked at my son, I could see the same thing happening.
As for the idea of these meditations being cult-like, that suspicion quickly disappeared from the bag of worries I was carrying around with me. With the word “cult” I associate a dissociation of personality, a loss of one’s individuality or freedom to think on one’s own. What I found among the yogi(ni)s was great individuality. Such a cast of characters! And as we watched each other growing in meditation and changing, the change seemed to be two-pronged: greater harmoniousness between us all while each one flowered into greater individuality. The deepening “complementariness” of the group happened by means of an inner connection of the heart generated by our meditation which simultaneously helped us to pursue our individual loves and passions (learning, music, family, work, etc) with greater confidence, a deeper knowledge of the ethics involved in any action in the outer world, and with much more joy. Of course, as we grew, we all had “hiccups” on the way – temporary lapses in our spiritual expansion and depth. But as people meditated more and more, these backsliding moments usually and quite naturally became less and less. We pretty quickly realized that seeking after the spiritual reality was the only satisfying occupation of our lives. In fact, it was also really the only way to experience fun without the headaches, as well!
Now when I say that spiritual reality is the only authentic reality, I am not saying that the occurrence of a real spiritual life happens outside of everyday activities, relationships or aspirations. Rather, what I’m saying is that a few minutes a day meditating in Sahaja Yoga meditation has affected not only the spiritual plane but simultaneously our daily routine life and affected it in very positive ways.
So to keep it short, I’ll describe, in general, a few of the concrete ways it has affected my personal life; I would have to write a book about it in order to do the subject justice. At the beginning of my life in Sahaja Yoga, I was just coming out of 10 years on welfare, being a single mother of two sons, one of whom had suffered severe medical problems that prohibited my working.
I have seen that one son healing and I have seen joy spread in his life – his marriage with Shri Mataji’s blessings to a lovely girl; their marriage and the birth of three grandchildren who are the apples of my heart! I have seen miracles of love touching the lives of many individuals. I have found strewn on my life’s path since Sahaja Yoga a good, steady job; the attainment of a master’s degree; the reappearance of talents that I thought had been lost in my life. More than that, I have found the congenial friendship of so many yogis; and an appreciation for so many seeking people in this turbulent world. (By seekers, I do not mean those people who are shopping for a religion, but those people whose hearts are crying out for something elusively undefinable yet ever so near.)
I have looked into my heart and have been surprised to find forgiveness gradually replacing bitterness – this seemingly small thing is actually one of the greatest miracles that has occurred and is still occurring in my life. A Christian in background, I have found Christ to be even nearer to my heart since Sahaja Yoga. He is a deep Friend and Teacher; and yet, I have found the meaningfulness and deep reality of other religions to be a great part of my expanding experience, as well. I see things simply, relying not so much on words, concepts, or formal creeds, as on what I experience within myself during events. I met Shri Mataji once, waiting at the end of a long lineup of people who wanted, as I did, to meet her face-to-face. By the time it was my turn, it was somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m. Shri Mataji had spoken at the public program at 9 p.m. and yet waited patiently and graciously to meet everyone who wanted to talk with her personally. As she held my hands and I looked into her smiling eyes, I saw so much love there and so much joy! I never bother to define that experience. I just know that every time I remember that moment, I smile; and that every time I see her in person at a program or meditation, I feel joy, contentment, happiness; I know that meditation in her presence always is an amazingly exquisite and transforming experience – every single time.
