Well. I'm just a bundle of troubles today! Tim and I got caught by a cop in a park. I guess it was after hours and you aren't allowed in it. Ha, good thing we don't have sex. ;) He had this nice bright light shining in our eyes and told us to get out. I thought he was going to give a lecture, but he very simply said the park closed at eleven and we had to leave. Okay!
It was time to go anyway. Of course one excitment after the next. I come home to find a less then happy mom. She was curious to my whereabouts. I said we were driving around. Hope Tim has the story straight, because that's what we were doing for most of the time. I guess his mom had called over here looking for Tim. Great, and I thought my situation was uncomfortable, I'm sure it was worse for Tim!
Easter was okay. I went to church with Holly. I've never "drank Jesus' blood and ate his body before". I tried to find some real meaning behind the actions I was taking, but it was hard to really focus, with everyone just popping the bread in their mouth like it was popcorn or candy. I wish there was like a ritual or a prayer before you did it. I mean I'm sure most of the people there, didn't think twice about what they were doing because they've done it so many times. But really thinking about the meaning behind it, it's actually very cool. Or can be a religious person, please? It was awesome.
Well I had originally vowed to stop laughing while me and Tim kiss. I'm sure it's gotten to be old, and I find it annoying, I just have trouble stopping now. Not as bad as usual but I've still got a problem.
I'm still not a good kisser.
At least I convinced him that just sitting there in silence is a wonderful thing. And I'm serious, I could just sit there together forever.
Sometimes my hands are free, but I'm not sure what to do with them. I'm not sure what he would like. Should I just try some random things, or should I just stick to "nicees"?
Holly is my girl!! She totally asked Chris to prom, and he said, "sure". Eris also asked him. He must feel pretty special. I'm so glad he's going to prom. Now what am I going to do. I'm getting some hostile Tim feelings. (from me, not from him). What does that mean? But prom isn't for a couple of months, that means if I ask Tim, we need to last those months. And I don't want to be in a relationship that's just "trying to last." I mean I want it to be good. I asked God to help me find a complete commitment to getting real with Tim. We'll see how that goes.
I'll be 18 in fifteen days. I better get my curfew changed. I can't handle this midnight stuff. I hope Tim didn't get in trouble.
I wonder what it will be like dirty dancing with Tim. Can I do that? With all of "them" watching. With Kat watching? With Chris watching? We'll see. We would have fun though. I think we would. I'm going against everything. I have a short dress.
...and I'm thinking of wearing my hair down!
gasp!
"It's crazy and I'm thinking...just knowing that the world is round. I'm here, I'm dancing on the ground. Am I right side up or upside down? Is this real or am I dreaming?"--"DMB, "Crush"
