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Radio Phone In

This is the transcript of a phone call allegedly made to a local football phone-in programme - we're not altogether convinced of it's authenticity - but you decide for yourself….

Jimmy Wagg: "Right Then, lines are open, if you want to phone in about City, or United, Bolton, Bury, Stockport, Rochdale, Oldham, any of our local teams, in fact anything you want to talk about as long as its got the word football in it. And here's our first caller, its Vincent Black Lightning. All right Matey?"

VBL: "Hello Jimmy, I'd like to talk about Bury v Tranmere, please.

JW: "Yes the Mighty Shakers, their stratospheric rise since beating us at Maine Road last season. A fateful day, am I right James H?"

James H Reeve: "yes, we were dreadful, and old Droopy paid the price".

VBL: "Yeah, whatever, so I was saying, Bury are at home to Tranmere…"

JW: "Good team Tranmere, hard to beat; held us one-all at home last year and nil-nil at Prenton Park"

VBL: "Er, great Jimmy, anyway, Bury are still looking solid in defence, despite the loss of Paul Butler to Sunderland…"

JW: "Big Paul Butler, I mean, a City fan through and through, scored that fateful goal against us at Maine Road. Remember that James H?"

JHR: "Yes, a momentous day Jimmy. Poor old Frank Clark paid the price. And Sunderland, how they didn't go up, after beating us both times, I'll never know"

VBL: "Hello? Am I still on? The thing is Bury should win this, especially after our home victories over Huddersfield, Crewe and Swindon."

JW: "Don't mention Huddersfield, beat us 1-0 last season. Were you there James?"

JHR: "Oh terrible Jimmy. We were dismal, I mean, you know, we're paying those players thousands of pounds a week, it's depressing"

VBL: "Excuse me, back to Bury, they're playing well up front these days, since pairing Andy Preece with Laurent D'Jaffo. And we've got Nigel Jemson on the bench"

JW: "Andy Preece from Blackpool, put us out of the Coca Cola. And Jemson from Oxford beat us 2-0 at Maine Road. A dreadful performance James H?"

JHR: "Absolutely appalling Jimmy. Lets hope Joe Royle can sort things out"

VBL: "Look, I'm trying to talk about Bury here, and all you two clowns can talk about is bloody Manchester City!"

JW: "Poor old City, eh James? Marooned in the wastelands of the 2nd Division. Dear oh Dear, where will it all end? Right, who's next to talk about local football.

Footnote: We at the Hatchet have always personally found Jimmy Wagg to be a very knowledgeable bloke when it comes down to all things Bury, but, hey, any excuse to have a go at his mate James H!