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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a prequel to "Dragons of the East, Tigers of the West". It tells the story of why Heero became a ronin.
EXTRA CREDIT: I'd like to say MANY thanks to the Goddess of Discord for writing the lime; so all the credit for the juicy bits goes to her. She has asked me not to disclose her email address, if you do want to compliment her, I'll be more than happy to pass them on.
*Archivist's note: This is different from Kedriaa's original format, but
changes are made for hmtl formatting.
Wakasa Province, Japan
Winter, 1838
The overcast sky weighed heavily upon the day. Thunder rolled ominously and a damp miserable mist hung in the air. Yet the rainfall was seemingly held at bay out of sheer respect to the Ashikaga Clan, one of Japan's foremost families. For on that day, the clan buried one of their own.
Two nights ago Asato Ashikaga, sole heir to the leadership of his clan, was murdered in his own home. Feudal lords of great and ordinary influence teemed the courtyard to mourn the loss of the promising youth. Even before Asato had taken the mantle of leadership, he was respected and reputed to be an able daimyo. Perhaps that is why he had been the target of assassination.
Heero stood apart from the crowd, paying little attention to the ceremony around him. He was more than a personal guard to Asato, they were friends, and perhaps the oldest and closest friend Heero had. His failure to perform his duty was reflected in Asato's death but Heero knew his chastisement from his daimyo would be nothing compared to the remorse and shame he felt for failing Asato.
When the ceremony was over and the all the guests had left, Heero was summoned to the Lord of the Clan - Takeda. Obediently, he knelt before his daimyo in subservience awaiting the reprimand that was due.
"With my son now at rest, you will seek revenge," Takeda simply said.
"Yes, my lord." Heero replied without looking up at him.
"I trust you know who did it?"
"Yes, my lord."
"I want my treacherous sister to feel the pain of loss as I have. I want the life of her children, all of them! Is that understood?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Remember your duty to me, Heero. Your father served me very well, and it is in his memory that I do not ask for your life. But fail me again, and I will not be so forgiving."
"Yes, my lord."
"One more thing, Heero." Takeda smiled maliciously at the youth. "I want the head of that accursed assassin."
"Yes, Takeda-sama," Heero replied stoically. It pained him to take the lives of the innocent children but his expression betrayed no emotion. No, he would not defy his best friend's father. Even as he failed Asato in his life, Heero would not fail him in his death. He would carry out his duty for vengeance.
~*~
Heero's heart was thumping in anticipation as he ran through the forest. He had been waiting all day to be at the old isolated cabin amidst the lush forest. It once belonged to his shishou, previously used in the old master's retirement. He had wanted some peace and quiet, and Heero helped him to build the cabin. After he died, Heero naturally inherited the place. No one else knew of its location, and Heero shared this secret with only one other.
She was already waiting for him when he arrived. He drank in the majestic portrait bathed in the crescent moon's pale glow. Her poise was elegant as always, and she bore an aura of strength and determination. Long black locks were twisted severely into a chignon by the nape of her neck. Rogue strands of ebony danced in the crisp winter breeze that caressed her.
She wore a simple kimono of dusty blue, looking more like a princess than one of the deadliest ninja this side of Edo [1]. Irrespective of how many times Heero had gazed upon this vision of beauty, she always took his breath away.
Silently, he moved gracefully to her side. The sweet scent of cherry blossoms piqued his senses as he reach to take her into his embrace. She leaned eagerly into him and his arms tightened.
"Tomo...e," he whispered as his lips nuzzled the nape of her soft neck.
A whisper of a sigh escaped her lips. Her right hand reached to caress his right cheek, the cold fingers finding comfort in the warmth of his skin.
"Why do you come when you are already betrothed to another?" she murmured.
"Why do you wait if you feel I should not come?" he replied.
"I wait for the day your absence tells me that you no longer love me. Then I know I have to wait no more."
"That day will only come upon my death, Tomoe," Heero proclaimed solemnly. "Even if I were made to marry another, know that my heart is forever more yours."
Tomoe sighed. "That is not wise, neither is that fair on her."
"I did not ask to be betrothed," he retorted sulkily. "Must we always argue about this every time we meet? I had thought that we agreed on leaving our duties and obligations at the doorstep."
Giving Heero a radiant smile she proclaimed, "Oh, I love you so, Heero."
Strong hands twisted her small waist around. Dark irises met with a flash of azure as he leaned in, fusing his warm lips with hers. His arms tightened their grip on her as her fingers raked through his wild russet mane. Their kisses deepened, neither having any intention of parting.
A gush of cold wind blew against her back and she shivered, breaking their union. Heero looked at her flushed face and smiled softly, gently caressing her cheek. His hands reached for the pin in her hair. In one draw, the ebony locks unfurled and cascaded down her back.
Only women would fashion a hair ornament out of a weapon, he thought before laying it on the windowsill.
A ray caught his eye as he turned to see her place a shade around the candle. Silently he closed the shutters. The candle cast a dim glow around the room.
Tomoe approached him slowly, footsteps on the wooden floor silenced by her light gait. Her hands released the bonds of his hakama, carelessly dropping the fabric on the floor. Then she slid the kimono top off his shoulders. As she toyed with the buttons on his shirt, he drew her face close. The light brush of their lips sparked a fervour in his being. Long, unyielding fingers unravelled the ribbons of her kimono, peeling the fabric from the flesh.
She shivered as he traced his fingers down her back, teasing her. Pressed against each other, they could feel the synchronicity of their hearts beating as one entity. Two figures, arms crossed around each other's waists, they held each other for a passing moment, relishing in the knowledge that they'd forged a bond that was eternal, yet painfully volatile.
Silently she raised her head from Heero's shoulder, staring into the depths of the fiery azure irises. The vision blurred into the darkness of her eyelids. Her back felt the softness of the cool linen-clad futon; his palm cradling the back of her head disappeared in the ebony sea. She clung tighter to him, refusing to sever the connection.
When Heero lifted his face from hers, she flashed him a lazy smile as her fingers snaked their way thru his mass of russet locks, vainly pushing them away from his face.
Playing with my hair, making it messier than it already is, he chuckled to himself.
"Heero?" she looked at him quizzically.
He delivered his answer in a passionate kiss, drawing her shy resistance away.
"Surrender to me, Tomoe, we have no second chance," he whispered huskily, thrilled to feel her shivering under his tender ministrations.
She tightened her grip on him, raking her fingernails into his shoulder blades. He gasped, as she teased him with butterfly kisses.
"You're not getting away with that..." the young samurai smirked, a glint of wickedness reflect in his blue orbs.
In one deft move, he captured her wrists above her head. Surprised, Tomoe struggled to free herself from his grasp - a futile attempt.
With his pelvic bones pressed into hers, pinning her to the futon, his lips explored every crevice of her face, stopping momentarily for a peck on her lips, and the trail continued down the side of her delicate neck.
The exotic assassin moaned, as he sank his lips into the soft hollow between her collarbones. The brushing of his light stubble coupled with the gentle suction of his lips against her porcelain skin sent an exhilarating sensation through her body. With his free hand, Heero caressed the soft mounds of her breasts, soon leaving fuzzy crimson patches on them.
A kiss that lingered took him in. He devoured her with each breath, with each thrust. Her scent was intoxicating, her skin so soft and tantalizing - he lost all reason, all senses; drowning in her.
They moved together; two bodies intertwined. Riding the waves of rapture, the consistent rhythm reached a crescendo. She moaned and her body trembled as white-hot electricity surged through her being; long fingernails digging into the soft flesh of Heero's back creating little red crescents. Their bodies soared, overwhelmed by all senses in a blinding wave of ecstasy.
Descending from the heights of rhapsody, all he could do was hold onto her. Remembering what was to come sent racing within his heart. There were no words, only truth - a conundrum of pleasure mingled with despondency.
She laid her head on his chest, an arm draped around his neck. Her ear rested close to his heart, as her finger traced the little scab on his abdomen. He pulled the covers over their bodies, cradling her body to his.
"You're healing well," Tomoe said as they lay cuddling on the futon. With a gentle and delicate touch, she traced her finger around the thin crimson scab.
"It wasn't that deep," he said reaching to stop her. "Don't do that, you're making it itch."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"I mean about giving you that cut."
"Tomoe, please," Heero virtually begged. "We agreed."
"No, you imposed that silly rule on us," she retorted. "We can't simply ignore what we are and leave all our problems at the doorstep. What we are defines us as who we are."
"We were doing fine for the past year."
"It is a nice to play pretend once in while, my love, but how can you just isolate yourself from reality like that?"
"Because you are here," he whispered. "Tomoe, I buried one of my oldest and dearest friends today, and it hurts. There is nothing I can do to make that go away. You're the only thing that brings me comfort."
"Oh, Heero." She buried her face in his neck. "How can you say that when it was my kodachi which - "
"No!" he interrupted her. Sitting up, he rose from the futon and pulled a robe over his shoulders. He strode to the window, peering out into the darkness of the forest that surrounded them. "Don't say it, Tomoe. I know it, you know it, even Asato knew. Just don't say it. You were only doing your job."
Tomoe drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. "I was actually hoping you wouldn't come tonight."
"If you didn't want to see me, why did you come?" he asked without turning.
"I never said anything about not wanting to see you."
"I see." The Japanese youth nodded into the darkness. "You just want me to make the decision for us. You want me to hate you enough so that we would become true rivals like we're supposed to be. That way our hearts would not longer be in conflict with out duties."
The exotic ninja made no sound as tears tumble down her porcelain cheeks. As if sensing her tears, Heero turned from the window and moved to kneel before her.
"Please don't cry, my love. We knew this day would come."
"Why did it have to?" she sobbed. "Why can't we be a happy family again? It was perfect; then why did they have to break up the family?"
Heero took her in his arms and gently rocked her. He had no reply to give her, no promises of a happy ending, no vows that everything would be all right. He loved her too much to lie to her. Moreover, Tomoe knew that nothing was going to be all right. They clung onto each other like it was the last night of the world, savouring each other's presence, committing to memory every sensation that they evoked in each other. Sleep did not come that night. Every moment was too precious to waste on it.
As the first glimmers of dawn touched the twilight sky, Heero rose and dressed.
"You know that what I must do?" he asked in a voice pregnant with fear and regret.
"Of course. I would've been ordered to do the same," she answered lifelessly. Standing before her lover Tomoe took his hands and peered intently into his deep blue eyes. "Promise me that you will fulfil your duty. If you respect and love me, do not insult my honour again."
"Make sure you remember those words, my love. I would expect no less of you."
Tomoe gave him a wry smile. "You still doubt my ability to perform my duty to my daimyo? Asato was my friend too."
Heero swept her in a crushing embrace and kissed her for all she was worth. "I'll always love you," he whispered before fleeing that isolated cabin amidst the lush forest without looking back.
~*~
It was the night of the new moon and the skies were deep and melancholic. Ashikaga's most promising samurai prepared himself for a task he was certain he would regret. Nevertheless, he would honour and obey his Daimyo's commands. Even if he did not respect the feudal lord enough to obey, he would carry out the orders in memory of his father and his best friend.
Laying his personal feelings aside, he made his way to the Hideyoshi estate to perform his sworn duty.
Upon the spine of the sloping rooftop Hideyoshi's main hall, a silhouette clad in twilight's embrace stood waiting for Heero. Her poise was elegant and confident, punctuated with a hint of danger. She drew her kodachi and faced her foe.
"Why do you come when you know what must be done?" she asked in a whisper barely above the chilling winter breeze.
"If you know that it must be done, why do you still ask?" Heero replied searching her eyes. They were grey and cold. For the first time in his life, Heero saw the assassin in his lover. Instead of despairing at her chosen vocation, Heero's heart soared with pride and joy for Tomoe had achieved what she set out to fulfil. Like him, she too had excelled in their duties.
Grey eyes flared in steely determination as she spoke the next words, "I cannot let you pass."
Heero nodded curtly but made no verbal reply. They stood and sized each other out.
No more words were said, no tender looks of affection exchanged, for away from the isolation and sanctuary of that little cabin in the woods, they were archrivals.
With a subtle flick of her wrists, Tomoe let loose a pair of shuriken and leapt in for an attack. Heero ducked one and deflected the other with his katana, recovering from that attacked just in time to parry Tomoe's swing. She continued her attack driving Heero back towards the edge of the roof.
Heero bore her attacks with poise, lulling her into a false sense of security. Just as Tomoe was confident that she would succeed in driving her lover off the rooftops, Heero dropped to one knee and swept her legs out from beneath her. A startled exclamation escaped her lips as she found herself sliding down the ceramic tiles.
Heero smiled to himself. Catching Tomoe unawares was something that did not happen often. He would allow himself a moment's gloating. Making his way down the roof by way of the sakura tree, he landed with the grace of a cat to face Hideyoshi's most deadly ninja again.
This time Heero attacked first.
The lethal clang of steel upon steel shattered the tranquil winter night as the elite warriors of the Ashikaga and Hideyoshi clans fought fiercely. They duelled with all that they were. Trained virtually from birth to serve their clans, their prowess honed to perfection, these two warriors were the personification of the Shogunate devotion. They would sacrifice everything they had for the honour and name of their daimyo.
And sacrifice, they did.
They fought with every skill that had little peer, both attacking and defending with a graceful deadliness that was rarely seen in this world. As evenly matched as they proved to be, ultimately, one would best the other.
When the opportunity presented itself, Heero took it without contemplation, without hesitation. He swung his katana towards Tomoe's unguarded torso half expecting her to parry his strike.
She did not. She was poised to take a lunge at him instead.
The sickening sound of cold steel ripping through tender flesh echoed in Heero's ears like a deafening gong. His vision blurred for a moment and the world around him became awash in ruddy crimson. Heero could feel the warm blood of his love against his skin, burning him with irrevocable guilt.
Not a single sound came from Tomoe. It was as if she was fully prepared to accept her fate. She stood unmoving, her kodachi frozen in mid thrust, a mere whisper from Heero's heart.
They stood transfixed, peering, searching each other's eyes. The severity of the situation had yet to penetrate their shell-shocked mind.
Bloodied katana fell from Heero's hands, shattering the pregnant silence of the garden. The young samurai rushed to his lover's side just as she sunk to her knees.
"Dear gods, Tomoe..." Heero cradled her gently as he peeled off her mask.
"You fought well." She smiled at him. "You have truly become a swordsman of peerless skill. Nothing pleases me more than to have died by the hands of such a worthy warrior."
"Hush, please."
"I must ask this of you, my love - spare the lives of the children. Even Keiichi's; he is still a child. They have done nothing to aid in this futile clan war. I have failed in protecting them, but please do not take the life of innocents. You are far too noble for such deeds."
"Tomoe..."
"Heero, please? Do me this one last favour?"
"Of course. Just rest, I will fetch help."
"No, don't leave me." She clung onto him with all the strength she could muster. "You know my death is inevitable now. Don't pretend that it isn't. You were there in the beginning, please stay by me till the end."
"Tomoe, can you forgive me?" he asked as he bit back a tear.
"I do not blame you. I never will. Promise me you will not blame yourself either."
"You ask too much, my love."
"You've always made me proud, Heero. Do not disappoint me now," she whispered with a waning smile. "Live out your dreams and do not hold on to past regrets. Live a life you can be proud of. You deserve nothing less."
"I promise."
"I love you, Heero Yuy."
Tears tumbled down his cheek as he tightened his embrace on her lifeless body. Burying his face into her hair, he committed to memory everything he felt and sensed about her. From the ebbing warmth of her body to her flawless porcelain skin to the sweet scent of cherry blossom that always lingered around her.
When Heero looked up, he found himself faced with Reiko Hideyoshi and several of her personal guards. With acrimony that was seemingly palpable, Heero glared at his daimyo's sister.
"Hee-chan," she said in an infuriatingly playful and flirtatious voice. "You have proven yourself worthy tonight. I had always thought you were a superb warrior. Even as a child you displayed excellent potential."
"Spare me your flattery, Reiko-sama," he replied with a mocking tone as he addressed her. "What do you want from me?"
"Your blade, naturally," she replied with a sardonic grin. "After all, you have just dispatched my finest ninja. Good and talented help is hard to find these days."
"Have you no shame? She died for you and this is how you honour her? She was not some cheap commodity for you to discard and replace as you see fit!" Heero spat. "I had hopes that she would be bestowed the highest honour for laying down her life for your children but I can see that you are nothing but an avaricious whore."
"Watch your tongue, young man! You are still within my lands and you should do well in remembering your place."
"You are a pox upon the land which you have claimed dominion over!" the young samurai sneered. "Shirow-sama would've been ashamed of the way you and your brother have rend the clan apart. And Tomoe and I were too foolishly honour-bound to not turn our backs on the Ashikaga clan when we had the chance."
"How dare you use my father's name to threaten me?" Reiko screamed. "I will have you killed as you cower behind the body of your dead lover!"
"You knew, then."
"We all knew, foolish boy." Reiko tossed her head conceitedly. "And is the reward for both your betrayals."
"You had Tomoe murder Asato and you risked the life of your own children just to punish us?!" Heero's eyes narrowed menacingly. "Are their lives so worthless to you?"
Reiko smirked malevolently at Heero, giving the youth the answer he was looking for. "I need not justify anything to you, boy. Are you ready to join her in death like you could never in life?"
At that, Heero laughed. With one fluid seamless movement, Heero had reached for Tomoe's remaining shuriken and let one loose towards Reiko. The spinning star whizzed past her cheek and a thin crimson line marred her flawless features.
Taking the opportunity where his opponents were still stunned, Heero dashed for his bloodied katana and with a look pregnant with deadly intentions, he bore down on the daimyo. Before anyone else could react, the tip of the katana was tucked comfortably under Reiko's chin.
"I have just bested your prime assassin, do you think your guards have what it takes to kill me?" the young warrior whispered. "Do not tempt me, Reiko-sama. If I can take a blade into my lover's heart, I would not hesitate in putting a few in yours.
"I have promised Tomoe not to kill your son and heir tonight, but I made no promise in not making him an orphan. Make no mistake that the only reason you will live to see the sunrise is because Tomoe respected you, even though you did betray her."
Reiko looked livid but she held any retort that she might have thought of. She was smart enough to take Heero's threat seriously. Indeed, none within the ranks of her guards could defeat the young Ashikaga samurai.
Heero moved to pick up the Tomoe's fallen blade then, with Tomoe in his arms, left the Hideyoshi estate untouched. He would rather see her dishonoured by an ignominious leader like Reiko than to leave her to be buried without ceremony and respect. Heero could clearly see that both he and Tomoe had been used by their daimyo for a cause that was neither worthy nor beneficial for the clan. Indeed, they were too foolish not to have opposed Takeda and Reiko when they still had the chance.
It was too late for regrets. His best friends were dead because of him. He had had enough of heartbreaks and betrayal to continue serving the Ashikaga family. He was ashamed to be a part of that clan. It was time to end it all.
"You have failed again," Takeda said as Heero stood before him. Between them, stood a table that held the blades that were customarily used to perform the sepukku. "The whelp still lives."
"Yes, he does, as do his siblings," Heero replied boldly. "And should they die, it will not be by my blade."
"What did you say?" the lord of the Ashikaga clan bellowed.
"I said I will not murder innocent children for your greedy ventures," Heero said. "Too many people have died for your petty sibling rivalry with Reiko-sama. Including your own son. I will have no further part in it."
"You think you can just walk away from this?" Takeda slammed his fist on the table before him. "You are bound to me like your father was, as your grandfather was to my father!"
"Yes, my forefathers served you and yours but my allegiance and devotion was to Asato. My lord and master is dead and I have avenged his death; my service to him, and his, is over."
"You ungrateful whelp. You are an embarrassment to your father!"
"And you would know all about that, wouldn't you, Takeda-sama?" Heero retorted with a calm confidence that infuriated his daimyo even further.
"If you do not perform the sepukku, I will have you killed without honour."
"As I said to your esteemed sister last night, my lord, I have defeated the only warrior worthy to be my equal, do you believe anyone else in your service will succeed in this fool's errand?"
Heero looked around the room to the other samurai present. He had known them all his life; some were his friends, other his father's peers. But all of them knew that he had what it takes to support his claim.
Heero returned his attention to the Ashikaga lord. "Loyalty is a scarce commodity, my lord. You would do well not to abuse it. I would also advise you not to send your faithful samurai in my pursuit. Friends or foe, I will defend myself by any means necessary."
Heero gave his former lord one last respectful bow and turned his back on the Ashikaga Clan.
~*~
Beneath the boughs of a blooming sakura tree, a lone katana marked the last resting place of a brave and admirable warrior. Heero stood by the window from his cabin looking at the tree embraced by a lush green forest.
Tomoe had always loved that tree. He felt that it was only fitting to lay her to rest there; forever in the shadow and scent of a bloom both she and Heero treasured. Retreating from the window, he headed out to her.
It had been six months since that fateful night and Heero had spent those months in isolation mourning her and Asato. It was time to move on.
"This is truly goodbye, dearest heart," he said. "I have kept my promise in not slaying Keiichi, now it's time to fulfil my other one. Japan no longer has anything to offer me. I am heading to the new British colony of Hong Kong. Perhaps I can find my destiny there."
The young ronin drew his wakizashi and thrust it firmly into the ground next to his katana.
"I no longer have a need for them, my love. Let them be the symbol that my former life died the night you were taken from me. Your kodachi is all that I need from here on end.
"I'll always love you, Tomoe Murase, farewell."
~*~
Hong Kong.
Present Day.
Heero reached up to the lowest branch and picked off a cluster of cherry blossoms from the tree in the western corner of his garden. It was still a fairly young tree but it had not disappointed him in yielding the most fragrant of flowers. With a deep breath he took in the sweet scent of the sakura and seated himself on the bench by the tree to enjoy the evening in the setting glimmers of the winter sun.
Like the years before, he had kept himself in virtual isolation that day, for it marked the anniversary to Tomoe's death. This year would be the fourth. Even after all these years, his love for her had not waned. He was still hurting from losing her and he was still angry from the way he had lost her. But for the first time in four years, he felt that he could begin to heal.
He had paved the way to making a new life for himself and he had found true friends. He had never spoken of her since her death, but that year, Heero shared her life with another. In sharing, he had found a kindred spirit in Wu Fei.
Heero was surprised to find such similarities in their lives before they met and was relieved to know that he did not bear the pain of loss alone. Wu Fei inspired a sense of comfort and candour in him. He knew that the Chinese youth would always be open and honest with him and that he need not hide anything.
Looking up from the flowers in his hands, he spotted the Chinese youth approaching with a tray of steaming tea in his hands. Heero smiled at his best friend, heartened by the simple gesture of concern.
"Do you mind some company?" Wu Fei asked.
"Not at all, Wu." Heero patted the seat next to him. "In fact, I cannot think of a better companion to spend this evening with."
~Fin~
[1] As modern day Tokyo was called in the Tokugawa period.
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